Fast reviews for busy people! Watch as I review three movies in less time than it takes to do a high five! Have a look as I race against the clock to tell you about the wild ‘n wacky “A Minecraft Movie,” the doggie drama of “The Friend” and the rom com “A Nice Indian Boy.”
Watch the whole thing HERE!
I sit in on the CFRA Ottawa morning show with host Bill Carroll to talk about the new movies coming to theatres including the wild ‘n wacky “A Minecraft Movie,” the doggie drama of “The Friend,” the rom com “A Nice Indian Boy” and the wrestling biopic “Queen of the Ring.”
Listen to the whole thing HERE!
SYNOPSIS: In “A Minecraft Movie,” a new fantasy-comedy based on the 2011 video game “Minecraft,” and now playing in theatres, four misfits are sucked through a portal into the Overworld, a strange, cubic wonderland where imagination is king. “In the Overworld anything you can dream about, you can create!” To escape, they team with Steve, an expert crafter who will help them reconnect with their imaginations and get back to the real world.
CAST: Jason Momoa, Jack Black, Danielle Brooks, Emma Myers, and Sebastian Hansen. Directed by Jared Hess.
REVIEW: The world of imagination that fuels the Overworld is very much present in “A Minecraft Movie.” It’s a standard action-adventure video game adaptation, colored with creativity and exuberant performances from Jason Momoa as Garrett “The Garbage Man” Garrison, Jack Black as Steve, a pioneer who treats the Overworld like his own personal sandbox, and Jennifer Coolidge as Marlene, an oversharing vice principal who says she stayed in a bad marriage for twenty years “for the dogs.”
All three let their freak flags fly. Especially Black, who seems a lock for Most Over-The-To Performance at this year’s Oscars. He plays Steve like a Tenacious D song come to life. Your enjoyment of the movie may be directly related to your tolerance for his antics, but I thought he was a hoot and perfectly understood the assignment.
The film’s conceit, borrowed from the game, allows for unfettered silliness, even if you’ve never played the game. Director Jared Hess, best known for 2004’s “Napoleon Dynamite,” brings his off-kilter sensibility to the material, creating an anything-goes universe populated by likeable oddballs.
It’s a deeply slaphappy movie that features a cube shaped orb, hot lava cooked chicken, and a real estate agent who runs a mobile zoo out of her car. It’s these little details that provide some solid laughs—for kids and adults alike—and keeps the fast-paced story humming along between the big action set pieces.
“A Minecraft Movie” wallows in its absurdity, but underneath the zany escapades are not so madcap messages about the importance of being true to oneself, and the importance of embracing imagination in the real world as well as the Overworld.
SYNOPSIS: “Borderlands,” a new sci fi action comedy based on the video game series of the same name, prompted me to write words you don’t often see in the same sentence: Cate Blanchett, action star. The two-time Academy Award winner plays ruthless bounty hunter Lilith in a post-apocalyptic world, hired by the powerful president of a giant corporation (Edgar Ramírez) to track down his kidnapped daughter Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt). The search leads her to the planet of Pandora, a wasteland at the edge of human civilization, home to monsters, “psychos” and a treasure trove of valuable alien technology.
CAST: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Edgar Ramírez, Ariana Greenblatt, Bobby Lee, Florian Munteanu, Gina Gershon, Jamie Lee Curtis. Directed by Eli Roth.
REVIEW: It’s hard to know exactly who “Borderlands” is aimed at. It shares the bright and bold aesthetic from the video games that inspired it, but the tone is radically different. The lewd and crude video game, rated M for mature audiences, features mature humor, strong language, gushes of blood and decapitation. The PG13 rated movie, directed by Eli Roth, maker of splatter movies like “Cabin Fever” and “Hostel,” smooths down the video game’s rough edges, leaving behind a movie that is neither fan service or something new.
Of course, Blanchett pulls off the action hero role. She’s Cate Blanchett and can do anything. She could play a doorknob and it would be the greatest doorknob in cinema history. It’s just too bad the script requires her to spout recycled action movie platitudes.
Kevin Hart inspires a sense of déjà vu in his portrayal of warrior Roland. He’s likable, and earns some of the film’s few laughs, but his performance here is interchangeable with almost every other character he’s ever played on screen.
Fan favorite CL4P-TP, better known as Claptrap, the chatty, uni-wheeled cycloptic robot featured in the video games, is part of the gang of characters. Voiced by Jack Black, he’s like an annoying little brother who never knows when to shut up, and, who poops bullets.
“Borderlands” aims to be a good time at the movies, but by trying to appeal to a wider audience it betrays the source material, and falls flat.
It’s been eight years since Po, the accident-prone panda voiced by Jack Black, last brought one of his “legendary adventures of awesomeness” to the big screen. He returns, alongside some high-profile help in the form of Awkwafina, Viola Davis, Dustin Hoffman and Ke Huy Quan, to battle all the master villains Po thought were vanquished to the Spirit Realm.
As the film begins, Dragon Warrior Po is reluctantly about to ascend to the position of Spiritual Leader of the Valley of Peace. “I finally found something I’m good at,” he says. “And now you want to take it away from me?”
“No one is taking anything away Po,” says Shifu (Hoffman). “Who you are will always be part of what you become.”
As Po searches for the new Dragon Warrior, an evil shapeshifting sorceress called The Chameleon (Davis) sets her eye on Po’s mystical Staff of Wisdom. She is already able to absorb the martial art abilities of her victims, but if she gets her hands on the Staff she will have the power to jump between the Spirit and Mortal realms and restore villains from the past to the present.
“Once I possess the kung fu of every master villain,” she says, “no one will dare question my power.”
To keep the Valley of Peace safe Po recruits Zhen (Awkwafina), a sly corsac fox and thief whose cunning will help defeat The Chameleon.
“Kung Fu Panda 4” doesn’t reinvent the nunchuck. After three big screen entries and a popular video game version, there isn’t a lot of room for new adventures for Po, but the new movie does a good job at keeping the story and action before its “best by” date.
Likeable main characters, fun voice work and cool animation that, like the previous movies, embraces various styles—computer generated to stylized Kung Fu movie art—and loads of well-choreographed action, may not accurately be described as “legendary adventures of awesomeness,” but they are a good time.
Despite Zhen’s generic design, Awkwafina generates laughs as the fox who lives by “the rules of the street.” The Chameleon benefits from a more elaborate design, and Davis’s suitably villainous performance. Also welcome is a drunken fish (Ronny Chieng) who lives in the beak of a pelican.
The star of the show is Black as Po. He gives Po a charming childlike naiveté and a rock ‘n roll attitude, but while he has great fighting skills, he relies on his inherent goodness to guide his actions. The fight scenes are entertaining but it is his spirit that makes him lovable.
Even though it comes with a slight feeling of déjà vu, “Kung Fu Panda 4” will entertain the eye, and has good messages for the whole family, and, in this case, that’s enough for a good time at the movies.
The most famous plumbers since Thomas Crapper, the man who popularized the flush toilet, are back in “The Super Mario Bros. Movie.” The new animated film starring the voices of Chris Pratt, Charlie Day and Anya Taylor-Joy, and now playing in theatres, sends Mario and Luigi on an adventure that begins with a mysterious water pipe.
While working on a broken water main, Brooklyn, New York plumbers Mario (Pratt) and his fraternal twin brother Luigi (Day), leave the real world, sucked through the pipe into the Mushroom Kingdom.
“What is this place?” asks Mario.
Buried deep beneath the Earth’s surface, it’s the psychedelic principality of the strong-willed Princess Peach (Taylor-Joy), a ruler who shares her castle with Toad (Keegan-Michael Key), a humanoid mushroom aching to find adventure in his life.
But there is bad news.
“Your brother has landed in the Darklands,” Toad informs Mario. “They’re under Bowser’s (Jack Black) control.” Bowser, a giant, fire breathing turtle with world conquering ambitions, has Luigi, and it’s up to Mario to rescue his brother and save the Mushroom Kingdom.
“My little brother is lost,” says Mario. “He looks exactly like me, but tall and skinny. And green.”
With the help of the Princess and Toad, Mario’s quest begins.
“Excuse me, everybody,” shouts Toad. “Coming through! This guy’s brother is going to die imminently! Out of the way, please!”
There are questions you have to ask when reviewing a movie inspired by a video game. Is it good because it remains faithful to the game? Or is it successful because it transcends the game and embraces the big screen?
If you answered yes to the former and no to the latter, you may enjoy “The Super Mario Bros. Movie.” The theatrical experience of the film is essentially like playing the game, without the inconvenience of actually having to play the game.
The beautifully animated movie mostly delivers what Nintendo has been successfully doling out for forty years; Mario, Luigi and the gang dodging Bowser in the Mushroom Kingdom. That formula earned the game accolades as one of the greatest video games of all time, so why tinker with success?
I’ll tell you why. Because by not tinkering with success, by playing it safe, by bowing down to fan service, directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic have created a movie with all the charm of a broken Game Boy. Loud and frenetic, it’s propped up by nostalgia for the game and little else.
There is nothing particularly “next level” about the second instalment of the all-star, rebooted “Jumanji” franchise. It provides pretty much exactly the same level of entertainment delivered by 2017’s “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle,” a family-friendly action flick that offered up some good-natured laughs.
The last time around nerdy gamer Spencer Gilpin (Alex Wolff), mean girl Bethany Walker (Madison Iseman), jock Anthony “Fridge” Johnson (Ser’Darius Blain) and Martha Kaply (Morgan Turner) were assigned to detention. Stuck in a storage room, they found a dusty old Jumanji gaming console. They turn it and the game sputters to life. “A game for those who seek to find,” it says, “a way to leave their lives behind.” Each clicked on an avatar and were suddenly swept away into the world of the game, plopped down in the Jumanji jungle and in the middle of an escapade. They also looked different. Their teenage selves are gone, replaced by heroic videogame characters. Spencer is now Dr. Smolder Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson), a buff hero, fearless with no vulnerabilities. Martha is warrior Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan) while Fridge is zoologist Moose Finbar (Kevin Hart). The biggest change was reserved for Bethany who became cryptographer Professor Sheldon Oberon (Jack Black).
The old gang is back, and when Spencer disappears inside the game they follow along, with some new faces in the form of Spencer’s cranky granddad Eddie (Danny DeVito), the old man’s former business partner Milo (Danny Glover) and a new avatar played by Awkafina.
Once back in the videogame world of Jumanji they must find Spencer and protect a scared gem, keeping it out of the hands of a merciless warlord played by “Game of Thrones’” Rory McCann. Cue a cacophony of close calls, mismatched body swapping, CGI and silly jokes that feel left over from the 2017 movie.
Like most real-life video games “Jumanji: The Next Level” is most fun when they’re actually playing the game and not standing around talking about playing the game.
After a deadly first half-hour that reunites the original cast the film briefly picks up speed when the characters land in Jumanji only to discover they aren’t who they used to be. Moose now looks like Kevin Hart but has Danny Glover’s grandfatherly personality. Eddie wound up as the muscle-bound Dr. Smolder Bravestone and Professor Sheldon Oberon has adopted Bethany’s former avatar, Professor Shelly Oberon. The switcheroos provide some laughs, particularly Hart’s take on Glover’s deliberate (i.e. glacial) dialogue delivery. He nails it, slowing down his usual mile-a-minute style to milk laughs from lines like, “Jurgen the Brutal. Is that Barbara’s boy?”
Johnson has a harder time replicating DeVito’s New Jersey twang, especially in the film’s rare dramatic moments.
The rest of the film is action, herds of ostriches and mandrills attack and there are improbable fight scenes but all are so CGI heavy that they don’t connect. Instead they offer up roughly the same level of thrills as a theme park ride, which, no doubt this will one day be if it isn’t already.
“Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” appealed to audiences with a mix of charismatic actors having a good time in a silly story and inventive action. For the most part “The Next Level” goes the way of so many other sequels, replacing the original charm with a story that is larger and louder but not as engaging. “I can’t believe you came back here on purpose,” says Martha. You may wonder that yourself as the end credits roll.
That director Eli Roth, he of “Cabin Fever,” the “Hostel” movies and the coiner of the term “torture porn” is making a film about a warlock and a haunted house should come as no surprise. That it is a spooky PG rated movie for kids is. Based on the children’s classic “The House With A Clock In Its Walls” by John Bellairs with illustrations by Edward Gorey, the film stars Jack Black and Cate Blanchett.
The movie begins with 10-year-old Lewis (Owen Vaccaro) losing his parents. Sent to live with his eccentric Uncle Jonathan (Jack Black), a wizard who lives in a rambling old house—the locals call it the “slaughter house”—with a mysterious tick-tocking heart. “There’s a clock in the walls,” he says. “We don’t know what it does, except… something horrible.” It’s a place of wonder and magic, complete with tentacle monsters—“He’s safe as long as he’s fed,” Jonathan assures the youngster—and deadly secrets. “It’s scary,” says Lewis. “I see things out of the corner of my eye and I think Uncle Jonathan is hiding something from me.”
Next door is witch Florence Zimmerman (Blanchett), a friendly face and substitute mother figure for young Lewis. Stumbling into this world of magic Lewis unleashes holy heck when he accidentally awakens Isaac Izard (Kyle MacLachlan), Jonathan’s former best friend and warlock, from the dead. The trio must stop Isaac from locating the sourcing of the house’s mysterious doomsday clock, whose tick-tock is a threat to all of humankind, but the onus is on the preteen. “I can give you the right books, teach you the right spells,” says Jonathan, “but that last 1%, that’s up to you.”
“The House With A Clock In Its Walls” is a fantasy-based thriller with gothic flourishes for kids raised on the “Goosebumps” books. Imagine a mix of “The Addams Family” and “Bedknobs and Broomsticks” and you’ll get the idea. For the most part it is harmless Halloween fun, more spooky than scary, although Isaac’s reanimation scene, complete with white, rotting flesh and stray maggots and the barfing pumpkins may inspire nightmares for the younger set.
Roth pays attention to the details—the set decoration and costumes are terrific—but draws out the action in the first half of the movie. Black and Blanchett chew the scenery and are clearly having fun but the tick-tocking clock seems to be running extra slow in the movie’s set-up scenes.
Once “The House With A Clock In Its Walls” kicks in, it’s good, silly fun, a throwback to the goodtime horror films of 1980s Amblin flicks.
“Don’t Worry He Won’t Get Far on Foot” isn’t as much about the story of John Callahan, the Portland based quadriplegic who became a famous, if controversial cartoonist after a car accident, as it is about his personal journey.
The film starts at the end, beginning after the accident and backing up into Callahan’s story of misfortune, self-discovery, and redemption. Our first glimpse of Joaquin Phoenix as the cartoonist comes at a settled place in his life. From there director Gus Van Sant moves along the timeline of Callahan’s life. We see him on the bender that resulted in the car accident that left him in a wheelchair, his treatment,
Alcoholic’s Anonymous meetings presided over by sponsor Donnie (Jonah Hill) and at home with his helper (Tony Greenhand).
It’s fragmented approach that focuses on the themes in Callahan’s life rather than the events. His journey is a metaphysical one, from unhappy, aimless slacker to someone who embraces community. Van Sant and Phoenix explore the artist’s psyche, detailing how being put up for adoption at birth fuelled his alcoholism and unresolved feelings of abandonment. Phoenix, limited in his movement for much of the film, hands in a rich performance, both volatile and vulnerable.
He’s aided by a talented supporting cast lead by Hill. He’s tough love personified, a tell-it-like it is A.A. sponsor who calls his charges Piglets. The meetings at his home are a whose who of interesting casting from Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon as a Valium addict with a propensity of getting naked in public, Udo Kier and musician Beth Ditto’s unrestrained presence steals every scene she is in. Jack Black, in a small but pivotal role, gets to showcase both his gonzo and sensitive sides.
John Callahan is best known for his macabre drawings but the film of his life ois anything but. “Don’t Worry He Won’t Get Far on Foot” is a breezy, life affirming look at a man whose misfortune was his salvation.
