Five years ago “The Meg,” a prehistoric creature feature starring a CGI shark and underwater actionman Jason Statham, took a $500 million bite out of the worldwide box office. This weekend, Ben Wheatley, a director best known for the arthouse, satirical thrills of movies like ”High Rise” and “Kill List,” dives in for the sequel, hoping to make a splash by reteaming Statham with a super shark. Question is, will “Meg 2: The Trench” be fin-tastic or does it jump the shark?
The fishy business centers on billionaire philanthropist Jiuming (Wu Jing) and eco-warrior Jonas Taylor (Statham). Jiuming owns an oceanographic institute, home to its own captive Meg, a nickname for a megalodon—think Bruce the Shark from “Jaws” on steroids—once thought to have been extinct for about 2 million years. Taylor is a former U.S. Marine whose steely gaze is rivalled only by the dead eyes of the Meg.
The unlikely pair lead a dangerous mission to an “ancient ecosystem untouched by man,” an oceanic trench twenty-five thousand feet under the surface of the ocean. The mission goes sideways when an illegal mining operation sets off an explosion that creates a breach in the thermocline, trapping Jiuming, Jonas and crew six kilometres deep, surrounded by colossal, Megs and all manner of aggressive, primordial undersea creatures. “Three massive Megs and who knows what else have escaped the breach!”
Midway through “The Meg: The Trench” Statham rasps, “This ain’t good.” It’s a meta moment that feels like the actor has broken the fourth wall to comment on the movie. He hasn’t of course. The movie isn’t clever enough to have that kind of built-in self-awareness.
But he’s not wrong.
From the reams of cliched dialogue seemingly borrowed from other, better action movies and half-hearted homages to “Jaws” and “Jurassic Park” to the rehash of Statham Stock Character #2—the man with a past who must protect a young, innocent child—and lame attempts to create a catchphrase (“See you later chum.”), “The Meg 2: The Trench” doesn’t add up to much until it becomes a creature feature in its last half hour. Even then, the alleged giant octopus is left mostly to the viewer’s imagination and seen only as a tentacle or two sticking out of the water.
“Meg 2: The Trench” spends much of its runtime underwater, which makes sense, because for 95% of its running time, it’s all wet.
“The Meg” stars Jason Statham. There’s a giant shark. Its tagline is “Pleased to eat you.” There is no need for a review. You know exactly what you’re getting into here but, because I am paid by the word, here we go.
Based on the book Meg: A Novel of Deep Terror by Steve Alten, “the Meg” sees action-man Statham play Jonas Taylor, a rescue diver who must face his fears to save the crew of a marooned deep-sea submersible from a fate worse than sharknado. Think Quint from “Jaws” without the expressive range. Years before Taylor narrowly escaped being eaten by a 70-foot shark, the Carcharodon megalodon—“Meg” for short—a 100,000 pound, prehistoric great white thought to have been extinct for about 2 million years. Now it appears the giant beast is back and hungry for the crew trapped inside the submersible. Hired by Chinese oceanographer (Winston Chao) Taylor must not only save the stranded sailors but also make sure the Meg doesn’t eat the world… or something. “Man versus Maggie isn’t a fight,” he grunts, “it’s a slaughter.
“The Meg” tries to take all of the thrills of Shark Week and compress them into two hours. It almost gets there but not quite. There are some silly thrills but humungous squids, scientific mumbo jumbo and b-movie dialogue that would make Roger Corman blush buffer the excitements.
“The Meg” is ridiculous. Start to finish. It’s a giant shark story that plays like a watery “Valley of Gwangi.” The key to its ridiculous effervescence is twofold. First, the aforementioned giant shark. Second, Jason Statham, the po-faced hero who, deep down, knows this is silly but is too stoic to admit it to himself or to us. Some people are method actors, relying on past experiences to create their performances. Statham simply glowers. He’s an actor whose dead-eyed stares make up 95% of his method. Running, punching and blowing up sharks comprise the other 5%. Range? He don’t need no stinking range, he just needs to save the world or at least whatever is in peril. A reassuring presence, he’s exactly the same in every movie regardless of the plot. No surprises, just extreme machismo with a side order of sentimentality. Here it works. He’s like a silent movie star, easy to read and fun to watch and without him “The Meg” wouldn’t be nearly as much fun.
“The Meg” has a few scenes that’ll make you chew your popcorn a bit faster and doesn’t skimp on the silly. In fact, there probably won’t be a more hare-brained underwater adventure this year until “Aquaman.”
