Richard Crouse

In “Abduction,” “Twilight” werewolf Taylor Lautner is Nathan, a typical teen who discovers his life isn’t what he thought it was when he finds a photo of himself on a missing person’s website. His investigation into the origin of the picture makes him a pawn in an international game of intrigue involving the CIA, an encrypted text message and the pretty girl from next door.

There is a certain percentage of the population who would pay to Lautner stand shirtless in a field, abs rippling in the wind. That would be a better movie than “Abduction.” He’s got the teen angst eye roll down to a science but other than that hands in the most wooden performance since Geppetto carved Pinocchio out of a block of oak.  Beware of woodpeckers.

He’s in every scene and despite a tense fight scene here or a loud gun battle there; “Abduction” is sunk by bad acting and even worse dialogue. Even old pros like Alfred Molina and Sigourney Weaver can’t get past lines like “there’s a bomb in the oven,” one of the most hilairously bad lines this year.

“Abduction” will leave you wondering how, exactly, that bomb got into the oven and how exactly, this bomb made it into theatres.