Madeas-Witness-Protection“Madea’s Witness Protection” is a movie so awful the distributor sent around an embargo notice forbidding critics to speak about the movie until the day AFTER its release. The sternly worded letter included any comments we might make in print, on-line, via text, or even in public places (they cite elevators, restaurants, and restrooms, “as these conversations may be overheard.”). Also outlawed is any disclosure to family members or close friends.

I think that pretty much says it all about this movie.

The story of a nebbishy New York accountant (Eugene Levy, who, to his credit is trying his hardest to squeeze laughs out of this dreck) accused of masterminding a Ponzi scheme and hidden with his family in Madea’s (Tyler Perry) home is the first time in my life I have ever wished a film came with a laugh track so I might have some cue as to when I was supposed to giggle, because I certainly couldn’t figure it out by watching the movie.

Directed by the Auteur of Awful Tyler Perry, who also wrote and directed, “Madea’s Witness Protection” once again shows us his Maddeningly Witless Predilection for making insufferable movies.