Richard Crouse

When I think of concert movies my mind immediately conjures up images of Jimi Hendrix lighting his guitar aflame in Woodstock, David Byrne’s “big suit” sequence from Stop Making Sense or James Brown tearing up the dance floor in The T.A.M.I. Show. Those were classic moments enshrined on film for those of us not lucky enough to see them live. Somehow though, I don’t think I’ll be adding the laser reflection from Kevin Jonas’s purity ring as seen in Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience as one of my memorable rock moments.

Until recently honest to goodness concert films, had almost become a thing of the past, a relic relegated to direct-to-video releases. Then new interest in 3-D breathed life into the concert genre and acts as different as U2 and Miley Cyrus had great success with large scale three dimensional filmed opuses. The latest group to jump on the bandwagon are teen idols The Jonas Brothers.

For any of you who aren’t familiar with The Jonas Brothers—and that’s likely everyone over the age of 18—here is a quick run down on the band. Sprung from the rockin’ world of Walt Disney, The Jonas Brothers are Kevin, Joe and Nick, three siblings from New Jersey who have set teen hearts atwitter with four CDs and a Disney Channel Original Movie called Camp Rock. Their family-friendly rock and habit of wearing purity rings to declare their virginity make them the anti-Mötley Crüe and safe for little Johnny and Sally to enjoy.

I have no doubt that the boys in the Jonas Brothers are nice young men. They’re a good looking trio and by all accounts clean living and wholesome. Trouble is good rock and roll is rarely ever made by wholesome individuals. Not that I am in any position to judge the music, I’m thirty years too old and the wrong sex—judging by the audience in the film no boys listen to the Jonas Brothers—but to my ears this is just typical teen pop rock with crunchier guitars. Disney rock. The up tempo songs, which all seem to be about girls or falling in love with girls, sound to me like the kind of music that virgins listen to. The trio is like a Paul and two Ringos. What they need is a little John.

Edgy they are not.

The Rolling Stones wanted to spend the night; Joe ‘Mini Mick’ Jonas sings that all he wants to do is “kiss you girl.” See what I mean? Wholesome.

The concert footage itself is the usual thing—swooping cameras, the obligatory shots of overcome girls swooning, crying and fainting—but the boys put on a good show geared for the girls in the audience. There’s the obligatory unplugged set, guitars are tossed in the air, flash pods explode and the band creates enough teen heat to melt every purity ring in the front row.

Parents, or anyone over 17 for that matter, may not have much interest in Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience so Mom and Dad may want to send the kids and stay home and watch the Blu Ray of Woodstock.