PIRANHA 3DD: 2 ½ STARS
Any movie with a title like “Piranha 3DD” comes with a certain level of expectations. Does it meet them? Well, yes. There are piranhas, it’s in 3D and the double entendre extra D is amply on display as well.
This movie takes place some time after an underwater tremor unleashed thousands of prehistoric piranhas, turning the nubile teen swimmers of Lake Victoria into fish food. This time the cold-blooded killers get all bitey at a family water park—where apparently topless women are encouraged to jump up and down—run by a sleazy business man (David Koechner) who refuses to believe that the fish could migrate into his pool through the illegal well he dug to save money on water. Pretty soon though, the waters run red and as beach bunnies are being gobbled even David Hasselhoff, the world’s most famous lifeguard, goes to battle against the hungry fish.
Here’s some advice for visitors to the Big Wet Waterpark: Don’t order the fish fingers at the lunch stand. You won’t like what you get.
Whether moviegoers will like what they get in “Piranha 3DD” depends on your level of expectation. This sequel to 2010’s “Piranha” contains more horror than humor.
Gallons of gore are spilled, there’s the strangest, bloodiest sex scene of recent memory and there are some tense scenes of piranhas almost nipping at the heels of the usual assortment of hotties that populate these kinds of movies, but the fish are so fake looking its hard to imagine getting this worked up over a dollar store rubber piranha.
It might have worked better as a Saturday matinee movie if it was funnier. Ving Rhames gets a laugh as a deputy whose legs were eaten in the first movie when he bellows, “Bring me my legs,” before going to war on the fish and Hasselhoff tries to raise a smile in his extended cameo but the laughs are as water logged as the premise of the film.
“Piranha 3DD” delivers on the promise of its title, but little else.
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