Richard Crouse

Sometimes my slogan, “I watch bad movies so you don’t have to,” is more than just a slogan. Here are my least favorite movies of the year.

Ballerina: Ballerina delivers on the franchise’s promise of a high body count but suffers from low stakes and a serious case of off-shoot-itis. it’s a shame that the movie’s storytelling isn’t quite as agile as its main character.

Bride Hard: A cumbersome mix of comedy and action, Bride Hard aims to be a blend of Bridesmaids and The Spy Who Dumped Me, but isn’t funny or action-packed enough to earn a recommendation.

Ella McCay: A mix of family drama and political underdog tale, Ella McCay is a kernel of a good idea with a good cast wrapped up in an over-stuffed melodrama.

HIM: A candidate for the Most Overwrought Sports Movie Ever, HIM is a jarring look at football culture but plays like a muddled mix of “Any Given Sunday” and “Rosemary’s Baby.”

Honey Don’t!: Sleek yet aimless, Honey Don’t displays an obvious love for its pulpy style but doesn’t show the same affection for its story which is essentially ninety minutes of red herrings.

Hurry Up Tomorrow: What do you get when you mix and match state-of-the-art, moody hook-driven pop music with a riff of Kathy Bates in “Misery,” a hint of tortured artist syndrome and trippy, experimental visuals? You get “Hurry Up Tomorrow,” a movie so self-indulgent it plays like a parody of a vanity project.

M3GAN 2.0: In its aping of Terminator 2, M3GAN 2.0 mostly says, “Hasta la vista, baby” to new ideas as it trades the kitschy horror vibe of the original for an action spy-thriller feel.

The Phoenician Scheme: The Phoenician Scheme is a carefully crafted film but it is more concerned with style than substance. As a result, there is an air of artificiality that settles over the movie like a shroud, sucking way much of the emotional depth.

The Pickup: By the time the end credits roll, The Pickup reveals itself to be less than the sum of its parts. All three leads are charismatic, and promise fireworks, but deliver a dud.

Smurfs: Smurf’s scattershot hodgepodge of music, gentle mayhem, intergenerational humour and good messages may leave you feeling blue, just not in the way the filmmakers intended.

The Strangers: Chapter 2: “The Strangers: Chapter 2” ends with a “To Be Continued” title card and scenes from Chapter 3, which, given how bad this movie is, seems like a warning rather than an advertisement.

Swiped: As formulaic as its subject is innovative, Swiped swipes left when it comes to aspiring to being anything other than a Wikipedia page come to life on screen.