Richard Crouse

Here’s a story from an old blog post about not judging a person by their public persona. It’s a lesson I learned twice in one day–first from the late Michael Madsen–during the junket for “Kill Bill.”

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Sunday April 4, 2004 was a strange day. By the time I call it a night I had handled a giant snake on Hollywood Boulevard; chatted with Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss, spoke with Michael Madsen and hugged Uma Thurman.

The day starts with the junket for “Kill Bill” at the Four Seasons in Los Angeles. Michael Madsen is first, and he is on time. I saw him yesterday in the hospitality suite wearing a black suit and colourful cowboy boots. He speaks in kind of a low whisper, with a voice that sounds ravaged by cigarettes and too many late nights. I heard him talking about his boots, telling someone that they’re very comfortable, so much so that he bought two pairs, the ones he was wearing and a white pair which he later gave away because they seemed too flashy.

Sometimes when doing these interviews you have preconceived notions about people. The first time I interviewed Ed Harris, for instance, I was told that he was difficult and not a very good talker. Nothing could have been further from the truth and the anxiety I felt leading up to that interview turned out to be wasted energy.

For some reason I had that same vibe about Michael Madsen, that he would only give me “yes” or “no” answers and be uncooperative. I guess I was confusing the on-screen persona of Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs with real life. I should know better. He recently said that having kids “was a good reason to stop acting like one,” and that new sense of maturity comes through when you meet him. He’s open and friendly, and more than willing to talk.

I asked him about how working with Quentin Tarantino was different this time around than it had been when they made Reservoir Dogs together in 1992.

“I don’t think Quentin has changed at all,” he said. “He’s exactly the same as he was when we did Reservoir Dogs. He’s got a bigger playground to play in and there’s more time to do what he wants to do, but he deserves that.

“I like to collaborate and he is a great collaborator… and on a picture like this it is important that everybody just be calm and get on with it. He inspires that in people – he brought out the best in Uma Thurman, she’s tremendous in the film that’s for sure… and so is David…

“The guy has only made four pictures and if he never made another film in his whole life he would still go down in history. I don’t think that is an overstatement at all…”

After we were done talking, he notices my notepad full of questions. “I see you have a whole list of questions there we didn’t get to… sorry if I rambled on too much…”

Later, after hugging Uma Thurman and handling a giant snake on Hollywood Boulevard, I met Heidi Fliess.

On this outing I had decided that it would be my goal to see one famous person doing something completely regular. I wanted to see Steve Martin washing his car, or Nicole Kidman buying groceries. My wish didn’t come true exactly, but I did encounter someone who could be described as infamous.

The newest step of the gentrification of dirty old Hollywood Boulevard is a store called Hollywood Madame, owned by Heidi Fleiss, who once ran a high-priced prostitution ring that allegedly served Tinseltown’s rich and famous. Previously she held sway over a cadre of high class hookers who charged Charlie Sheen $1500 a night. Now, instead of doing time, (she did three years in jail for tax evasion and money laundering) she bides her time writing books (Pandering) and running a clothing store.

I was surprised to see her behind the counter, and she told me that she had just fired some of her employees for stealing and had to work the shop by herself. I bought a t-shirt for my girlfriend and wanted to pay with my Visa card. Trouble was Heidi didn’t know how to use the Visa machine. I went behind the counter to see if I could figure it out but couldn’t. We both stared at the blinking box as though it was the impossibly complicated Rambaldi device. I finally paid in cash, but unfortunately she didn’t have enough change. I took whatever coins she had in the till and we called it even. With my pockets bulging with quarters I left the store having fulfilled my wish to see a celebrity doing something ordinary.

I tooled around Hollywood and Highland for the next hour or so; had my picture taken with a giant yellow snake wrapped around my neck and talked with a street performer named Dr. Geek Wordologist who has been busking in Hollywood for seventeen years. He can instantly make up a rhyme using your name and your hometown. It is quite impressive, and I noticed he had a bucket load of ones and fives next to him, so his kind of wordplay must be profitable. He’s probably making more than many of the songwriters who went to California to find fame and fortune. Fans of late night infomercials will remember him as the guy who rapped on the beach in the Blu-Blockers sunglasses commercial ten or so years ago.

I walked back towards Heidi’s store and notice that she is inside, alone looking bored. I go back in and say hello. She looks surprised to see. “Didn’t your girlfriend like the shirt?” she asked. I explained that I was just killing time, and we ended up talking for quite a while.

We talked about the store, which she described “as Hustler without the porn,” and how when people come to Hollywood they can visit her store and “at least say they saw someone who has been on the news.”

We also talked about why she chose Hollywood Boulevard as the location for her store. “I’ll give you the rundown of LA,” she said. “Being born and raised here I have seen the evolution of Hollywood. I remember when I was in the sixth grade when I would skateboard down Hollywood Boulevard with a bunch of kids and we were rowdy and rude and we would knock ice creams out of people’s hands and do obnoxious things… I got my payback for that in prison, don’t worry… Hollywood Boulevard, right now, all the nightlife is here and that sets the trends. All the cool restaurants and the cool stores are coming here, so it is going through a renaissance and it is good to be a part of it before it gets to be all Banana Republics… no offence to Banana Republics, but how much of the same thing can you see?”

She also tells me about her plans to expand her business interests to Las Vegas. “I’m the best madam on earth because I know the dynamics of males and females and the nature of human nature better than anyone. Better than doctors, psychiatrists, professors… anyone. In two years prostitution will be legalized in Las Vegas proper and I’ll have the best brothel on earth.

“It’ll be a brothel that people would walk into and be proud to be seen… like the speakeasy days, when people were proud to be there. In today’s climate the type of person that I would see walk in there as a celebrity… I would see someone like Ben Affleck. He looks like a hot shot. A big roller. Confident enough to go in there and be proud. The girls would love him. I’d promise him the time of his life. There is a reason why I am Heidi Fleiss – I have superior product.”

She’s an interesting character, and I was surprised at how much I liked her. I have never met her before but had made up my mind negatively about her from learning about her sordid past on E! True Hollywood Story and seeing her being lead away in handcuffs on the news. In person and conversation she is quite sweet – edgy, but sweet. She is one of those people who gives you a little too much information right off the snap. Within minutes of meeting her she told me that her staff had been stealing from her; how she was hung-over from being at a party at the Playboy Mansion the night before and that she was a criminal with no college education. But despite the barrage of words and personal data I got the impression that she was trying to be friendly but has some trust issues… which is perhaps why she asked me several times if I was a cop or had ever worked for the FBI… I guess she has been stung before.

When I left Heidi was sweeping the floor of her shop just like any other shopkeeper would and it was hard to imagine that she was a notorious madam whose little black book had kept Hollywood on the edge of its collective seat during her trial.

Back at the hotel I had dinner with some friends on the restaurant patio before retiring early to pack and get some rest. With visions of long yellow snakes, legendary madams and Uma colliding in my head I got some sleep so I wouldn’t be wiped out for my early Monday morning flight.