Billy Crystal’s fourth and most recent grandchild was born on March 14. “Born on my, I hate to say it, 65th birthday,” he says. “No! I love to say it, because I’m here and it’s good.”
The “here” is a Toronto press junket for Monster’s University, a prequel to the Oscar winning Monster’s Inc.
In both he voices Mike Wazowski, a green eyeball creature whose goal in life is to scare kids. I ask if his grandchildren have seen either film. “The little guy’s seen everything,” he jokes, “I’m a night light.”
The three older kids were introduced to the movie in a scary way.
“The girls and I were walking in a mall and some of these paparazzi — I have to say it — creeps, jumped out and started taking pictures of us. Really freaked them out. ‘Why are they doing that!” So I had to explain to them what I did. That I was internationally famous…” (pauses for the laugh).
“So I showed them Monster’s Inc. I couldn’t show them the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally. ‘Why is she making that noise?’ Then I became Grandpa Mike. I had to be Mike Wazowski for about a year. They’d call the house, ‘Is Mike there?’ ‘OK, I’ll get him. Hold on.’ (Pauses.) ‘Hi!’ (he says in Wazowski’s distinctive high-pitched voice.) ‘Are you looking for me?’
“Now they see me around. There were billboards when I did the Oscars so now they are kind of used to it.
“It’s confusing to me! It was, ‘Who’s that guy?’ They watch the same things over and over and over and over again. And over again. And over again. We were watching Dora the Explorer exploring the same thing and then I was looking at the guide and I saw that City Slickers was on. I took the remote. ‘Let’s see what else is on. There I am!’ She actually just said, ‘How?’
“Now it’s like bragging rights at school, but we’re trying to play it down. We live in a town where a lot of the kid’s parents are performers. We read book at their school every two weeks, and there are a lot of famous parents.”
When I ask if they and their friends will ever realize how cool it is that the “internationally famous” Billy Crystal read to them he laughs, “I think OK, but Will Ferrell read the day before.”
With just a few more sleeps until the biggest night in Hollywood, this week the Reel Guys breakdown the show; from the host to who should win and who will win best picture.
Richard: We talked about the Oscars a few weeks ago, but we didn’t touch on Billy Crystal coming back as host. I loved the old Crystal shows, but really hope he finds a new fresh approach for this year. I’m not interested in seeing him do another opening montage where he inserts himself into the nominated footage. What do you, oh comedy guru, hope he does with the show?
Mark: Oh, Richard, you know he’s gonna do it; this time in black and white, in flip-flops and silent. Those montage sequences are like a drug to him — his name is Crystal, after all. It’ll be old and hoary, but at least there will be some laughs. Of course, Billy’s getting so old he’ll have to turn his hearing aid up extremely loud and the teleprompter will have to be incredibly close. Your prediction on Best Picture, Richard?
RC: The Artist was the most fun I had at the movies last year but I’m not sure that means it deserves a best picture win. I think it will take it because it has won all the guild awards, but in my heart it’s between Moneyball and Tree of Life. What’s your choice?
MB: My choice is The Descendants, a movie of great maturity and mid-tone emotion. I had considered it a shoo-in until recently, because I thought The Artist was original to the point of gimmickry. But now I think The Artist is going to take it. It’s a movie I liked a lot, but it’s not very subtle. As far as Tree of Life goes, I thought it was pretentious hooey. And I heard they used non-union dinosaurs.
RC: Pretentious hooey! I accept that the birth of the universe sequence separates the men from the film snobs, but I loved how evocative of childhood it was. It captured something deeply emotional, even spiritual, whereas The Artist simply entertained the eye. The Descendants, for me, was a so-so movie with nice performances. Perhaps if Clooney had been working opposite a dinosaur I might have enjoyed it more.
MB: Yeah, I know, Tree of Life certainly has its fans. The divisive film I loved was Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I guess the childhood depicted in that picture — melancholic, guilt-ridden, borderline Aspergers — was evocative of my own. But it doesn’t stand a chance to win the Oscar, and I’ve made my inner peace with that.
Billy Crystal’s fourth and most recent grandchild was born on March 14. “Born on my, I hate to say it, 65th birthday,” he says. “No! I love to say it, because I’m here and it’s good.”
